I had a nightmare last night. It was more than a nightmare though, because I was in a less dense body and I was actually experiencing the events that were taking place. Someone from my past was doing very traumatic things to me including holding a gun to my head and forcing pills in me as his goal was a joint suicide. I have experienced the latter in waking life but not the former. When I swallowed the pills I literally felt the woosy effects of them in this less dense body. I can’t even put into words how real the entire episode was. I woke up sweating and I felt so petrified…my first thoughts were of being thrown back down into the physical plane…like living in a doll house in a snow globe.
I have wondered for some time if parts of myself were trapped somewhere in my past. Is this possible? I have read about shamans taking people back to the trauma and getting back the pieces of their ‘souls’…maybe spirit retrieval would be a more accurate phrase?
Then after several people responded she wrote:
I thought I was through being a victim but I know there is a decade of tangled and intertwined memories of abuse and drugs. How can I comb out the fine knots of all the strands? I think I must have combed over a lot of it, but I have spent over a year OBSESSING over past events trying to remember everything that ever bothered me basically or anyone I ever hurt or that ever hurt me. Writing, drawing, painting, talking…its hard to remember what happened when you are on drugs. Trying to put the pieces back together again. How can I severe all the links when there must be so many? Plus the 2 people that abused and traumatized me the most are both dead…would that sever the links at all? Although the abuser in the dream last night was my ex husband…and they never found his body after a scuba diving trip last fall and I fear I have created a thought form that he is going to come and get me one day.
It sounds like your second post gives us partial understanding as to why you had the nightmare. You’ve had traumatic experiences in your past and some memories are coming back to haunt you in fragmented form in your dreams.
In addition it sounds like your subconscious is trying to warn you against yielding up your will to others; that you need to take charge of your life and make your own decisions.
That said you bring up an interesting idea of having parts of your soul trapped in the past due to drugs or trauma.
The problem you are referring to would most appropriately be called “Fragmentation.”
This occurs when the individual abuses his own self through drugs or denial or is abused by others so much that he fragments himself to diminish the pain. When the person is fragmented he will operate on a lower capacity than he otherwise would have.
We are aware that if a person damages part of his brain then his physical or mental abilities may be impaired. With fragmentation parts of self are not destroyed but either put to sleep or blocked. Fortunately, they can be awakened or unblocked.
Most of us have certain parts of ourselves either asleep or blocked. Those who are suffering from great fragmentation because of trauma have obvious problems; others have not so obvious ones.
L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, identified the cause of this problem on the trauma side as being caused by engrams. These are like small computer programs that are created through pain and direct our inner processing in negative rather than positive ways.
Unfortunately, Scientology processing is very expensive and the organization is in dangerous illusion and extremely authoritative. In addition they do not deal with problems related to denial.
Since Hubbard came out with his teachings many others have developed something similar but changed methods and terminology.
One of the best evolutions to come forward that may help Sarah and others is outlined in the Book “The Emotional Code” by Bradley Nelson.
You can find it here:
I’m considering methods of dealing with “soul retrieval,” as you call it, at the next gathering.
The other solution to fragmentation is through the establishment of soul contact. When the soul and brain become sufficiently linked then denial is released and the illusion of engrams is dissipated. Unfortunately, this can take lifetimes to achieve so if problems continue then it is helpful to assist with other methods.