Grievances

2000-5-1 10:37:00

We are just about to wrap up our discussion on health with the discussion on emotion. I would like to keep this as an open subject so when new information or thoughts come up they can be shared. As I said earlier, it is very important that all those seeking to serve maintain good health.

The Question:
"Why is direction the key word here and how is it to be used to neutralize grievance? How does forgiveness fit in?"

It is of extreme importance for optimum health to discover any suppressed grievances; and to know the difference between general irritations, and hurt that comes from close relationship. I would guess that about a third of the health problems that all of us have are either caused by or aggravated by suppression or denial.

Let me repeat that there are two main categories of negative emotion: The first is general anger and irritation at events, other people or ourselves when things do not go our way or some type of perceived attack occurs. The second is genuine hurt of grievance apparently inflicted by someone you trust.

If a person pulls in front of you in traffic and you find that irritating this belongs in category one. If someone on TV says something inflammatory this belongs in category one. If someone is talking loud in the table next to you in a restaurant and you find this irritating this belongs in category one. If you're hammering a nail and hit your thumb and become angry this belongs in category one. If a list member posts something insulting to you this also would normally belong in category one. Unless you take things way too personally or give away your power to others none of these types of things should cause a grievance in you.

The word grievance is one used often in the book A Course in Miracles. The course puts a lot of emphasis on overcoming grievance and guilt because they are so detrimental to the progress of the soul. Basically, a grievance is a negative package of emotion caused by some hurtful act that builds up inside of you and does not go away by decree, will power or even prayer or meditation. Category one of negative emotion should not cause a grievance to any unless the subject is going out of his way to give away his power.

But then as you come into a close and trusting relationship one does yield up emotional energy in a way that does not happen in loose relationships. One of the reasons close relationship has the power to cause grievance is that each of you makes a contribution to the goals of the two. Trust becomes essential at this juncture, and to reach the goal more than your own efforts are needed.

Husband and wife are obviously very intertwined in dependency. Let us say, for instance, that they are each making $30,000 a year and their bills and cost of living are close to $60,000 a year. In this situation they are both very dependent on each other's contribution in order to enjoy a comfortable lifestyle. If they did not trust each other when they married they are pretty much forced into trusting each other now.

Let us suppose that the husband gets interested in spiritual teachings of some kind. He becomes so enamored by them that he wants all his time free, and decides to quit work and spend his whole time on some vision quest. One evening he announces to his wife that he has quit work to become a servant to the world.

How would his wife feel?

She would feel betrayed because she has trusted him to do his share in their mutual goal she thought they had. In this situation, if she is not open with her hurtful emotions she is likely to develop a dangerous suppression.

If you are business partners with someone and the other guy ruins the business through carelessness this could cause a grievance because trust is involved again.

Forgiveness enters in because it is essential to overcome a grievance. The trouble is that many claim to have forgiven when there has been no forgiveness. Forgiveness does not occur by merely proclaiming that you have forgiven someone or by the mere announcement that you will not go after retribution.

If you say you have forgiven, yet still harbor a grievance then you have forgiven nothing. As long as that negative feeling wells up in your breast, forgiveness is still not complete. Sometimes announcing to yourself, your friends or even the person who caused the hurt that you forgive will have no effect on the inner negative emotion. Along with the announcement of forgiveness, an honest communication to the person perceived to be the cause of hurt feelings must follow and what seemed to cause those feelings. When this communication is complete then true forgiveness can take place and not before.

But the other dimension of the key word of direction is that the negative emotion must be given direction so that it will move away from the door to soul contact. If your trusted one hurts you then you must give that hurt direction in harmlessness by the power of open communication. Direct it by the power of your words and communication out and away from your innermost being.

The rising above guilt and grievance will be essential for future spiritual group work. If one person in a working group has a grievance or guilt then soul contact for the group as a whole will be greatly diminished.

Next we will move on to complete the principles of discovery and spend some more time on that most important subject of soul contact. Nothing teaches like this principle. Many people seem confused as to what real soul contact is so we will focus on this again, but with examples.

Give one or more examples of true soul contact.

And

Give one or more examples of what is often thought to be soul contact, but is not. If your example is not soul contact what type of contact is it?