Willingness to Give

1999-8-2 09:37:00

I am herewith enclosing the missing chapter.

I see Rick is initiating again. My real player isn't working since I installed an upgrade. When I attempt to play my RealPlayer I get an error message called "error type 3." If anyone out there has a Mac and knows what this means in relation to RealPlayer perhaps you could let me know.

In the meantime I'm going to buy another program that should do the job.

I think Rick is on to something and think there is potential there. Thanks to the Internet it may be possible to feel like we are in the same room together some day.

I also enjoyed John's comments on the beast which is one-sided on the male side.

It is interesting that the world did not have much of a concept of magnetism and gravity until Newton came along and about this same time the power of the female was also dimly seen.

The female energy is invisible and the male visible, but when the invisible is made as real as the visible true balance on this planet will be achieved.

It sounds like Xavier has a good instinct for the highest books to read. I think he may be centered more in the higher centers than he gives himself credit for. An item to note here is that when the higher centers are open the lower ones are also functioning with more vitality than ever before and take a lot of self control. This could explain Xavier's mention that his solar plexus is very active, yet he speaks from a high vantage point in many instances.

THE MOLECULAR RELATIONSHIP

Chapter Thirteen - Willingness to Give

Whereas communication is the keystone to happiness, a giving nature is that which builds the bridge to a joyous union. When Joan communicates her needs to John she needs a satisfying response to obtain fulfillment. John must be willing to give in to those reasonable needs which are communicated. Communication itself is the highest form of giving. Giving is merely communicating to the other person the idea that you value him or her as much as you do yourself. A person who does not have a giving nature is rarely a good communicator on a one to one basis. He may be able to speak before groups but be incapable of sharing feelings on an intimate level.

The committed love relationship is the highest form of schooling on the earth in that it teaches communication and givingness. The reason for this is that male and female are on opposite polarities as far as energy is concerned. This causes both individuals

to have the need to make a considerable effort before they can effectively communicate and give. They are both forced to develop some empathy and open-mindedness.

To give to another person what he or she wants is not always easy to do. It will be found, however, that the more accurate the communication is for both parties the easier it will be to give. Generally, the reason a partner in a committed relationship does not have his needs fulfilled is because they were not properly communicated. One should always seek to fulfill the needs of his mate as long as his own needs are not sacrificed to an extreme and there is no harm done. In doing this, one will create an automatic trigger in his mate that will cause him or her to respond with givingness. It is impossible to give over an extended period of time and not receive back. It is a universal law that we must receive that which was given out.

The Course in Miracles states it aptly by saying "To give and receive are one." If we fulfill the needs of others, then others must come to us, sooner or later, and fulfill our needs. If every married, or attached person, believed this law he would then seek to fulfill the needs of his mate whether he thought she deserved it or not, for if he refuses he may find his own needs unfulfilled.

There are some instances where fulfillment of the needs of the man and woman may conflict with each other. For instance, he may want sex four times a week and she only two. This is what they each need for fulfillment. In this case it would be wrong for the woman to give in to the man all the time if it causes her consistent distress. We must not forget that we have an obligation to our own fulfillment as well as that of others. In this case a compromise is necessary and compromise itself is a form of giving. Compromise is only permanently successful when both parties are willing to yield, or give.

In this case they could agree to sex three times a week or they could decide to let the male initiate sex during one week and she initiate the second week. This way each could be fulfilled sexually at least every other week, and as they grow old together seeking to fulfill each other they will find that their needs and desires will adjust to each other and they will eventually be satisfied a larger percentage of the time.

In seeking to be a true giver and one who fulfills his mate, one must seek out and understand human needs so he is aware of where he needs to direct his giving energies.

There are seven basic human needs just as there are seven rays, seven colors and seven notes.

1. The need for union.

2. The need for love.

3. The need for experience.

4. The need for creative expression.

5. The need for knowledge.

6. The need for emotional fulfillment.

7. The need for order.