Thanks my friends for your good comments on Harmony Through Conflict. I wish I had more time to comment on your comments but a few words will have to suffice.
Concerning this principle John C made an interesting observation:
DK didn't say "harmony BY conflict," "harmony FROM conflict," "harmony IN conflict," "harmony BEFORE," "harmony AFTER conflict," "harmony WITH conflict," or even "harmony WITHOUT conflict."
He said "harmony THROUGH conflict."
This is a good point. To achieve the benefit of any emotional situation one must go through it and not around it or get caught up within it through grievances.
There is something profound and deep about the harmony achieved after going through a conflict and reaching resolution. This is different from the peace that passes all understanding. Even so, the harmony achieved through conflict can trigger the reception of this spiritual peace.
But not counting the spiritual peace the harmony through conflict is still a significant event and makes a powerful imprint on the psyche.
Perhaps the most common experience with this principle in average humanity is in their romantic relationships. Sometimes after an intense problem or disagreement is resolved the couple will experience a great desire for each other where moments ago they nearly came to blows. This will often result in some of the best lovemaking of their relationship.
Other times there is hurt and grievances persisting. Neither wants to bring up the problem for they know an argument will follow. Finally, the pressure becomes too great and words are said that forces them to enter the conflict of opposing thoughts or feelings.
To have true harmony the couple has to get their hurt feelings in the open and once this is dome a greater harmony is possible.
So average people use this principle. How about the more spiritually minded then?
If we look at the master teachers of the race we see that they all had lots of conflict in their lives. Jesus was the prime example of this. Many of those attacking Jesus never achieved harmony but because Jesus confronted the conflict head on he was the great beneficiary of the principle and passed many of the benefits to humanity itself. By facing conflicts with honesty and openness he achieved the Atonement and At-One-Moment he united heaven and earth within himself and overcame the last enemy which is death.
The answer is yes and no. The spiritually-minded person can have harmony in the present without conflict in a relationship, but this only happens because he has been through much conflict in the past that has taught him the principles that maintain harmony.
Usually when a couple says they "never fight" what they are really saying is they never confront each other. If they would confront they would fight just as much as everyone else. In many cases they should let loose on each other once in a while to prevent unhealthy grievances from accumulating.
On the other hand, once in a while you find a couple who are very well matched and easy going. In these rare cases they do not need much conflict because of three reasons.
Indeed it can backfire as several of you noted. If the couple do not go through the conflict but get stuck in it then hurt feelings and anger remain only to fester and boil over again and again until the individuals involved go completely through the conflict, see the whole picture and reach a resolution.
Peace is associated with stillness and harmony with movement. Harmony is demonstrated when the musician plays beautiful chords on the piano. There is peace when he stops and everyone just reflects on the beauty of what they have heard.
A false peace persists among many when outward unharmonious movement ceases, but a cacophony still persists in the inner spirit. A suppressed movement is like steam pressure accumulating in a pressure cooker. It may look like nothing is happening but when the pressure gets high enough the release valve is thrown open. If it is not then the cooker would explode.
With true peace there is no pressure accumulating that is heading toward an explosion of force.
True peace exists among those who have witnessed a masterpiece of harmony. After it is over they sit back and enjoy the reflection of the experience.
Even so, after the disciple finishes a service ending in harmony, he steps back and enjoys the sublime peace of God.
The next principle is really three but from a higher vision is one. The understanding of this is essential to creating harmony through conflict.
Principle 56: Suppression, Denial & Release
As far as the emotions go what is the difference between suppression and denial? How do they prevent true harmony and peace? How do they feed a grievance? How do we obtain release from them?
Train yourself to let go of the things you fear to lose.
George Lucas (1944 - ), Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Copyright © 2007 by J J Dewey, All Rights Reserved