The Making Of A Bureaucrat

2002-2-24 04:50:00

You are right John K. This series is around an individual that represents generic mankind. We have all had different experiences, but moved along the same path. Have faith in this individual. He'll eventually turn into a good guy.


From Self Consciousness to Initiation, Chapter 7 -- The Making Of A Bureaucrat

You wanted to undo some of the wrongs you had done. You felt that the best way to do this was to acquire some position of leadership and authority so you could use your influence to rid yourself of the karmic debt you had been piling up.

Little did you realize that obtaining authority over others at this stage of evolution would only increase your dept load. You developed a lot of good intentions during your thousand years of meditation, but you soon discovered that having a good intention and carrying it to fruition are two separate things.

In your next life you were born as a daughter of a tribal leader in a situation where world civilization was being reborn. Your plan was to inherit the role of your father and then lead your people toward the creation of a new and better world and society. You thought that it would be safe to lead from the female aspect as a kinder and more gentler you.

Instead, you misused your authority from the beginning. As a Chieftain's daughter you took advantage and bullied other children from your youth. As you grew older others began to fear your authority and this seemed to feed something in you that nurtured a greater sense of power. You sought for greater authority from your parents and they usually granted your wishes. No matter how much authority you received it did not seem to be enough. You wanted more.

You grew impatient because your authority was limited and you yearned for the more unlimited power of your father. You felt that if you were a Chieftain you could make changes that would bring you glory. Your father lacked vision and seemed to drag his feet.

One day after your father refused a request you made something snapped inside. You developed an insidious plan. Shortly thereafter you poisoned him and seized his position of authority. This was a daring gamble for you because your tribe was reluctant to accept female leaders. Even so, there were many who feared you and this allowed you to take control.

Instead of helping people with your authority, as you had planned before birth, you had taken your position through violence and defended it through violence. You had two younger brothers killed who you saw as future contenders for your position.

In addition you were very defensive about being a female and had dozens of males who you saw as threats killed and surrounded yourself with females who would blindly support you.

When the other tribes saw the effects of your leadership they blamed all problems of your tribe on the fact that females were in charge and they wrote up a set of laws that prevented female leadership and subjugated them for many generations. You thus not only increased your individual karma, but created a debt that you owed to an entire gender.

You might wonder and ask the question: "If I had good intentions, then why did I increase my debt? Why did I fail?"

First let me explain that from an eternal prospective there is no such thing as failure. There is only delay. We can delay our progress so long and then circumstances arise which force us to continue again.

All of us have or are following a course similar to the one you are treading and all of us have made some tremendous blunders that we would rather not talk about. In fact we would rather not remember them. This is one of the main reasons why most of us have no conscious memory of past lives.

Reflect a moment. If, after you betrayed your teacher, you were born in a situation where your memory of the event were crystal clear it would have paralyzed you. It is true that in your life after the thousand year rest you made some big mistakes, but at least you did something and we always learn a few things when we make an attempt of any kind. But if you had remembered even a small portion of your errors from past lives at that unprepared time, your guilt would have overwhelmed you. You would have been afraid to try anything.

Your Higher Self, which you were oblivious to at this time, carefully protected you from remembering anything which would interfere with your present actions. This causes each life for us to be a fresh start. All of us start with a clean slate as far as memory is concerned. On the other hand, many of the drawbacks and advantages that just seem to happen to us in each life are drawn to us because of karma, or the law of cause and effect.

This is the biggest drawback of losing our memory. When advantages or disadvantages happen we usually have no idea why we are treated differently than the next guy. When there is an advantage we honor God and consider ourselves blessed by Him. When there is a disadvantage we wonder at the unfairness and sometimes look to the skies and curse Him.

This bewilderment, which is indeed a disadvantage, is a price necessary and worth paying for to receive a fresh start in each life, for without this newness of life each of us would be doomed to eternal despair and never find our way back home.

Newness and freshness of life and opportunity is God's eternal and unfailing gift to man. Which father among us would deny a child a fresh opportunity if he were willing to try? Are we better than God, the Father of Lights? Would he not give his children a fresh opportunity to improve themselves and attain the highest salvation whenever they are willing to seek it?

Any thought less than this reduces God to a being with less kindness and love than the lowest of men and women on this planet.

There is no punishment or pain that lasts forever. The One Great Life that created the Universe made nothing in form that stays the same forever the same except for change, and it is a fact that we can always depend on God (or have faith in Him) to take us forward into new worlds to conquer. No matter what debts we have accumulated, no matter how dark are the clouds that gather, no matter how great the mistakes we have made, the Father of us all is always with us through all these experiences to see to it that his sons and daughters make it back home.

So why did you not succeed after a thousand years of meditation? It was because your entire motive was for the benefit of Self, the Lower Self. You felt guilt and remorse only because your Self was in distress. You wanted to do good so it would ease your pain -- not because you loved your fellow humans. You needed to discover this pure spiritual love. You found out that it took many lifetimes to do it because, at this point in your evolution, you were not even sure as to what it was.

In your next life you started your "bureaucratic era." You were appointed to be the governor of a land because of your high status given to you by birth. You rejoiced in this appointment because it was something for which you had yearned. It had nothing to do with any inherent talent you had; nevertheless, you felt that you deserved the position and more.

Here you had your chance to pay off some bad karma, for you had much control over the lives of the people. You could have done a lot to ease their burdens and gain their respect.

Instead, since this was your first position of this type of authority, you were filled with many fears and insecurities. Your main concern was in pleasing your king and when it came down to a decision to help the people or please the king, you always chose the king.

You did this again and again and each time it seemed to gnaw on you. You could not understand why it troubled you. It seemed as if the service of Self should make one happy.

In this life you were responsible for many men, women and children suffering much hunger and pain and, either directly or indirectly, caused the death of several thousand people through your neglect.

One evening you went out for a walk and were mobbed by a group of angry peasants. As you felt your life ebbing away you wondered why they seemed to hate you so much. You could not understand.

After death you again visited the "Hall of Memories," and were overwhelmed with sorrow when you saw the results of your actions. You felt the pain of those you wronged because you chose to please the king rather than serve the people. A council of three Elders revealed to you the debt you were accumulating and you were overwhelmed with sorrow at the path of redemption that now lay ahead. You were not looking forward to being born again and you resisted the experience as long as you could.

But a time of opportunity came again and there was no way for you to resist it.

In this life you felt that you needed to be punished so you were born to a poor family who lived under a governor who was very cruel. Because of him both of your parents were killed and you were sent to an orphanage. The circumstances were so bad that you were lucky to have survived. When you were in your teens you joined up with a group who had a "Robinhood" philosophy, and fought the establishment. You were a dedicated follower the rest of your life and picked up some important points on leadership from your associates.

For the next five lifetimes you were born in quite dreadful circumstances. These strengthened your character considerably and you began to develop a greater empathy for your brother man. Finally, you felt like you were ready to try a position of authority again.

Proving yourself, however was not to come easy, for this was an era where the people of light were heavily persecuted, tortured and killed. This time when you were given your position you were immediately faced with a decision as to whether you should join the persecutors. The religious leaders taught that these peculiar people were possessed by demons and that a place would be assured for you in heaven if you helped to rid then from the land.

Even though a part of you felt it was wrong to hurt them, this feeling was overshadowed by a fear of going against God. You therefore joined the persecutors and used your authority to destroy many good and holy souls. You became numb to the inner voice and began to feel confident that you were doing the right thing.

As you might guess, you spent the next series of lifetimes suffering persecution because of race, religion or infirmity. You were tortured, maimed and killed. This was a period of intense pain for you, among your worst as a human being.

When you felt you were ready for leadership again you desired to be placed in a situation, where you could have some authority, but not have such a great risk to create havoc. Your wish was granted and you were born into a period of relative peace.

For several lifetimes you occupied positions of authority, yet had little power to do real harm. You seemed to advance to your level of incompetence as taught in "The Peter Principle," and you were what we might today call a bureaucrat.

I won't go into much detail on these lives as they are somewhat boring to review, (outside of one scandalous affair you had with a politician's wife). Your main concern was still Self, but in this time you felt the highest good was in the obtaining of security. You took such little risk that nothing exciting happened. Your motto here was "stay the course and do not rock the boat."

These lives sort of put you to sleep toward the outside world and you began to turn within and become more introverted until you reached your next stage within Class Two.


-- End Of Chapter Seven --


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